"My Story" (aka. "Deep-ish thoughts during oxygen deprivation")

I do not remember what song was playing through my headphones. Was it some of Mac Powell's lyrics that got me thinking? Or maybe Chris? David? Jeremy? or maybe it was that Sara Groves song that makes me want to cry. every. single. time.

Or maybe it wasn't a song at all.

Maybe it was Him.....The Author.

Anyway, I started thinking (as I often do about 2 miles into my run....when my oxygen level probably starts to drop). I started thinking about where we are in life right now. Thinking about what I might have missed if I had written my own story to this point.

The last two days I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Thankfulness. Total amazement of the blessings. Not the material blessings (sometimes I think they are the actually the burden).....no, not the material things, but the opportunities, the people, the experiences...

And had I been holding the pen, writing the story myself....I would have missed out on so much.

I would not have authored the trying years that led to our first adoption. But then I may never have appreciated the total joy of getting to become a mama again!

I would not have wanted to include the very rocky, painful chapter of loving Isaac from afar for 8 months and then letting him go. But then I might have never known the joy of a boy named Micah and the blessing of friend named Stacy.

I would not begin to know how to introduce a scene that led to a burden for Ethiopia's orphans.
I would never have the creativity to include a mission trip "on the spur of the moment".
But then I would have never seen all those little brown faces, held their little hands, learned of their painful struggles...and I am not sure we would have ever had the necessary passion to give one of them a family of their own.

That's the thing.
There are so many times when I have wanted to grab the pen. Hurry the story along. Change the scenery. Edit out the waiting, or the tears, or the uncertainty.

But I am thankful for a Heavenly Father with strong hands....a strong grip on the pen...a Sovereign Author who is writing a story that is deeper, wider, bigger, more fun, more exciting, more blessed, more full, more colorful and more true than anything I could have ever thought of!!!

If I were holding the pen right now, my next post would announce a court date and talk about bringing our newest son home in a month or two. But I don't hold the pen. And when I look back over the chapters that have already gone to print....I am thankful for that fact!!

But I still am hoping and praying that God and I are on the same page on this one! :)

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9