My voice.

Ironic that I would post this today, on a day when I have no voice -- thanks to this little respiratory bug! (please spare me the "doctor, heal thyself" cracks!)

Except that I am not sure from God's perspective it's "ironic"....I think it is just perfect.

This post has been on the tips of my fingers for a couple of months now. But, I have been too chicken to write it. Today I guess I finally got the "nudge" it took to sit down and do it.

Over the last couple of months it has really begun to burden me that I am guilty of keeping God to myself too often. In His wonderful grace, God has done.....and IS doing....His work in my life. I see it. I know it. I love it. It's not always pretty. And it certainly is not always FUN. But, it is GOOD. HE IS GOOD.

And it's time to testify! :)

I have no idea what that will look like. My only prayer is that it is glorifying to God.

For fun, can I just share that God used David Crowder (you know him, right? the singer with all. that. hair.!?) to push the "GO" button? I have been putting some much-needed time on my treadmill with David Crowder blaring in my ears (mostly to drown out the sound of me gasping for air!!)......and today it was his version of the hymn "O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing" that God used to convict me of my silence. Here's the first 2 stanzas:

"O for a thousand tongues to sing

My great Redeemer's praise,

The glories of my God and King,

The triumph of His grace!

My gracious Master and my God,

Assist me to proclaim,

To spread through all the earth abroad

The honors of Thy name."

That's my hope...to sing (or write) His praise.

And that's my prayer....that He will assist me in proclaiming!

Wouldn't it be fun if this means more blog posts about what God is doing in this life bowed down to Him?? Like I said, I have no idea what this will look like....I just know that until He gives me "a thousand tongues to sing" I should find some other ways to sing the glories of my God and King!!

I think I am getting my voice back. :)

Sometimes I wonder...

Derek has beautiful eyes. Big. Dark.

Every once in awhile I catch him looking off into the distance...staring into space...

It's not that my other children never do that. They do. But somehow it seems different. And it makes me wonder.

I catch myself wondering about his eyes.

With Derek I often wonder what those eyes saw before he saw us. I wonder what made them cry before it was "boo-boos", and sibling rivalry, and going upstairs for naptime. I wonder if those eyes ever had to hunt for a morsel of food. I wonder it those eyes ever searched for water. I wonder who was the first to look deep into those eyes. I wonder what it was like for him to have known someone else's eyes and then not to see them again. I wonder.

We don't know much about Derek's first year of life. We know he was very, very small when he came into the first orphanage. As a pediatrician I wonder what his first year's growth curve would have looked like. As a mom I wonder how often he was hungry.

I will be honest. I wish I was there from the beginning. I wish I could have been the first set of eyes he bonded with. I wish I didn't have to wonder what his eyes saw and his ears heard. I wish I had some sort of control over that. I wish God would have ordained it that Derek would be adopted into our family when he was just a day old. (Derek was still very young. I know that.) But sometimes I wonder why I couldn't have been his mom even sooner.

Today I read this blog post from Katie (who, by the way, humbles me with every single blog post!) and was so encouraged. Especially by this part (in reference to one of her adopted daughters):

But I know that is not how God intended it.

He did not choose me for those moments, He chose me for these. I entered motherhood through a different door, and I get a different kind of stretch marks.

I believe that this is how He has loved us and I do not pretend to know why. But I know that He who did not spare His own Son will also graciously give us all things we need, and so I cling to believing this is for good.

I believe that He held her all the years that I didn’t. I believe that He stood beside her in the line for porridge that the UN workers passed out, and I believe that He clasped her hand as she made the long journey from Arua to Masaka without her first momma, and I believe that she leaned her head into His shoulder as she fell asleep on hard dirt floor...

I love that! What a fresh reminder of God's love and care for each of us.

Every. Single. Moment. :)

Surely you have heard???

about the famine? about the horn of Africa? about Somalia, Ethiopia, and more? about the children dying of starvation?

Sometimes (MANY times) I catch myself wondering.....

-what is happening right now? right this very moment? NOW, as I lay here in my comfy bed. which children are passing away in this moment? what are their names? how old are they? are they alone?

-what can I do to REALLY make a difference? it's so BIG. so complex.

-how will this affect our friends (and Hope For His Children's ministry partner in Ethiopia), Peter and Elza? and the children we minister to together? and their families? as food prices rise and the value of the Birr falls? as families in the countryside send their children...out of total desperation....to the city?

-what about Derek? He was born in southern Ethiopia. I can't help but wonder. His village? His birthfamily? And, of course, I often wonder what this would have meant for him?

-how horrible must it be as a mother to have your child crying for food and water....and have absolutely nothing to offer? what would that do to a mom?

I don't pretend to know what YOU should do about it....I am not even sure what all I should be doing about it. Clearly I have more questions than answers......but will you join me in praying for wisdom that results in action?

We have learned first-hand from ministering in Ethiopia that you really CAN make a difference!!

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

-Mother Teresa

Happy July 2nd!

I have posted only 5 times since LAST July 2nd.

Sad, isn't it?!

I probably THINK about posting at least 5 times a week. And at least once a week I think "I really should start blogging again, I miss that...."

But July 2nd really makes me want to post. One nice thing about only posting 5 times in a year, is that you can just scroll right down a couple of posts to last year's and read all about WHY July 2nd makes me want to post....

why July 2nd makes me want to SING.

why July 2nd makes me want to DANCE, and PRAISE, and PRAY, and CELEBRATE!

Summary:

*Micah was placed in our arms FOREVER....July 2, 2006...the four of us becoming five.

*We laid eyes on Derek for the first time EVER in a photo....July 2, 2009....the five of us becoming six.

More than anything, July 2nd is a day that I step back and MARVEL at God's design for our family....His mysterious ways and His perfect plan. I would have never imagined this. It is SO much better than what I would have imagined!!

I am humbled. I am thankful. We are blessed.

Happy July 2nd. :)

Ethiopia Mission Trip Video

Ethiopia - post #1 - "The Team"

One of my prayers from the very beginning, was that GOD would "assemble" our team....and He did just that! 23 people. ages 2 to 63 years old. from Indiana, Illinois, and Oregon. 12 female. 11 male. 1 VERY afraid to fly! :)

When people ask me about my "highlights" of the trip, my first one starts way before we boarded our first plane! In the months leading up to the trip we served a meal to the homeless, we studied the book Radical and we packed over 1,400 pounds of donations into plastic tubs. I love the fact that this team started to become a "team" before the trip even began!

When we met up in Amsterdam with the 2 Oregon members, and our team was all together for the first time, I stood in amazement at what God had done....and as the week progressed I was so thankful for all the different personalities and gifts that God had pulled together. This team was amazing.

At the risk of sounding like a "proud parent", here are some of the things I appreciated so much about this group of very special people:
- they were bold enough to go.
- they were flexible....an absolute MUST in Africa!
- they did not complain (well, at least within my earshot!!)
- they were fun. even those 4 men who were affectionately known as the dough-boys!
- they laughed. HARD.
- they cried. OFTEN.
- they showed gratefulness to the Ethiopians who try so hard to please.
- they showed all sorts of kindness to our friends Peter, Elizabeth, and Ephrem.
- they loved the children. OH HOW THEY LOVED THOSE CHILDREN WELL!!!
- they love Jesus. and they showed Jesus.

Because we LOVE the Rensink family....

...and the Rensinks LOVE the Steelers!! :)

"Quarterly" Update ???!!!

I am not even sure WHERE to start!
I want to just jump right in and start posting about our trip to Ethiopia....but that seems weird, since my last post was OCTOBER!?!?

So, catching up....

In NOVEMBER, Chad had a HUGE career change. Enter: Timmons Feed and Farm Supply, Inc. We believe that this business opportunity is a gift straight from the hands of God....and we will be careful to give Him all the glory as it grows to its full potential!! :)


In DECEMBER, my father....Howard Leedy.....passed away after a long struggle with Parkinson's. How do you post about that? I will just say that I am PRIVILEGED to have had THIS man for a dad!!! the life lessons he taught by example...the lives he impacted...the joy he brought.... most people could live 175 years and not live half the life my dad did. I am proud. I am blessed. and I miss him.




In JANUARY.....Ethiopia.



And that is where I will start to pick up the story....soon. :)