The biggest cry of my heart at this time in my life is this: I want to live each day...every moment of each day...aware of God's presence in my life. I want to be constantly thinking of Him as I am doing everything throughout my day...giving Him glory and honor, asking for His guidance and wisdom, thanking Him for His abundant blessings, following the lead of the Holy Spirit in my actions and decisions. I get so frustrated when I realize that time has passed ("sometimes lots of time, sometime just a little time") and I realize that I have not been aware of God's presence in what I was doing.
Sometimes I get frustrated with my inconsistent quiet times...and that IS a real problem...but I think it is so much bigger than that. I want to train my mind and heart to be focused on God during the many other hours of the day, too. Somedays are better than others. One of the blessings (can I really say this???) of the WAITING phase of bringing Micah home, was that it forced me to my knees so much more than any other trial in my life. I was constantly looking for God's presence/reassurance/activity all around me. I miss that.
I recently got out my copy of "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence...and was re-reading some of the things I had underlined over the years...here is one of the passages I had "double-starred"...
"We have only ourselves to blame if we turn from God, occupying ourselves instead with the trifles of life. In the Lord's patience, he endures our weaknesses. But just think of the price we pay by being separated from His presence! Once and for all, let us begin to be His entirely. Let us banish from our heart and soul all that does not reflect Jesus. Let us ask Him for the grace to do this, so that He alone might rule in our hearts."
That is it! That is what I crave!!! For God alone to rule my heart...to the point that I am no longer satisfied unless I am constantly aware of His presence throughout my day, whether I am in the middle of my quiet time...or the middle of cleaning up a messy kitchen...or whatever!!
That is it! That is what I crave!!! Lord, lead me there!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Thank you Michelle for a wonderful reminder of what we as Christian need to strive for. That our filter, to the world and our experiences, is Jesus. I totally agree with you that a blessing of waiting is being dependent on God- looking for strength and reassurance that can only come from Him.
Great post, Michelle. I see that so clearly in our own wait for Isaias. The wait itself and the trial it was resulted in an intimacy with God that I cherish even today.
I was thinking about this earlier today actually- I read this on another blog:
"We should weep for ourselves. For we have big things, know big things, yet our nights are filled with anxiety, our days with drudgery..." (Holy Experience) And I thought, it is sad. We have so much. So much that it distracts us from what matters most.
That's why I would love to scale down our lives so that there is less STUFF. Less stuff to worry about and care for, more time to center our hearts on Him.
Love you, my friend.
Stacy
And ALSO, thank you for your daily encouraging comments on my blog.
You're nice.
WARMLY, (yeah, not really me)
Stacy
And ALSO, thank you for your daily encouraging comments on my blog.
You're nice.
WARMLY, (yeah, not really me)
Stacy
Hey Michelle! I've been wanting to write sooner, but just haven't. We're now starting to feel like Texas is home, and not just vacation! I'm so happy for your family, and can see how God is truely blessing your lives. I miss the "baby" stages of watching them learn new things. It's something that always brought tears to my eyes because it ment they were growing up. (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you!) Thanks for your words of encouragement! I needed that reminder. It's something I need to work on!
Miss you,
Amber
Post a Comment